Hey! We missed "Remember when you still knew why you were crying" day!

Sorry, this was just too funny. Link via Girls Are Pretty.


posted by MT at 2:35 PM |

Rethinking the whole blog monkey thing...

This happens all the time. Like things happening in threes. Well, except this lacks some of the timeliness of those tripartite events (like celebrities dying).


But I had a few minutes on Friday to blog around (the plane didn't go down out of San Diego, but when you're traveling from the absolutely glorious eden that is San Diego to the somewhat less than idyllic Philly airport, well...the living wouldn't necessarily envy the dead, but the thought might occur). In my scurrying about over at Rabbit blog, I noticed that Heather referred to her readers as her little squash blossoms. Tongue in cheek-ily, naturally, but still. Rebecca at coffeesweats (whom I know some of you can't visit anymore because of some bizarre puritanical web filters at work) refers to her loving "beetle hordes," since she discovered some months ago that she has mystical powers over small critter familiars. Like Aquaman. With all the perks you might expect such skills to confer.

So blog monkeys is at least as endearing. And anything with monkey in it is funny. Plus the picture at the top of the blog. My little spider monkey. My little bonobo. (If you know anything about the bonobo, this term has some interest subtextual elements to it as well).


Bobby the bonobo..he's a lover, not a fighter

HA! Now here is why I love the web. Suddenly I'm all about the bonobo, and I instantly find dozens of sites on them with a quick wave of my google wand. Dubbed on this site as the "horniest ape on earth." Which apparently is something noteworthy to put on your vita. I mean, the horniest squash blossom, well, we all know about squash blossoms. But horniest ape? Well step right up, and let me get you the executive washroom key....


The bouncing bonobo. The pygmy chimp. Pan paniscus, like "Pan" the satyr. Something they also noted here, but I thought of it first (at least, before I saw it there). Interesting critters from a cognitive and social point of view. Koko got nothing on the bonobo, who seem to actually have a fairly sophisticated understanding of syntax. Koko gets all the press for her sign language, but it's all random words and paired associations. No linguistic structure, not even rudimentary word order. But the bonobo are different. Seem to understand subject-verb-object associations, as well as word order. I'll have to dig up some studies, but it's been a while.

Of course, the big deal about bonobo is that they make love not war. When there is conflict in the group, they have sex about it. And I'll leave it to you (and your puritanical web filters) to read further about some of the male gamesmanship, but consider the following: "penis fencing."



I just realized with an inward groan that this site is going to be a hotbed of resurgent sexual hits for the next couple of days. Happy Monday...


posted by MT at 7:08 AM |

My poor poor neglected blog monkeys

That's how I think of you all. Actually it isn't, but blog monkey sounds funny. And if I said "big shout out to my peeps" any one of you would be justified in having me bludgeoned.

I won't bore you with the details, because that's all they are -- boring details. Suffice to say: Job -- hatin' it. Travel -- hatin' it. Clients....actually, the clients are being really cool, but I'm sure that will change tonight, because they've been so civil but now Mr. Big Boss-Man is showing up, FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY, and of course when Mr. Big Boss-Man shows up, he has his own ideas about the research, how it should go, etc. (especially since he is only showing up for the one night, so he has no sense of history, continuity, etc., and will ask all sorts of dumbass questions that we will all patiently answer because he is Mr. Big Boss-Man), plus all of his underlings (I use that word with all kindness and respect) who are actually my clients, (not him, so who cares if he's happy?) are all cowering before him like the Lion before Oz the Great and Tewwible. Feh.

As you can tell from that fabulous run-on, I am wired for sound. Note previous concerns about sleep, etc. Caffeine is a reasonable substitute for life, but only just. Mary Shelley should have featured caffeinated beverages more prominently in "Frankenstein," and the whole thing would have been much more believable as, you know, science. Plus it would have kept little kids from sticking bobby-pins in electric sockets to see what happens when all that energy flows into a REAL LIVE BOY. [Note to self: stop doing that. You know better, now.]

I have been patiently accumulating blog-licious observations which I will dispense like succulent truffles over the next day or so, unless the plane goes down tomorrow (catastrophize much?) Keep checking back...




posted by MT at 6:40 PM |

Islands in the stream of consciousness...

Oy. What a crappy week this has been. I have been reeling, literally. Sleep hygiene is critical, people. Critical. Can't stress this enough. Lack of it leads to all sorts of mental meanderings, as well as that kind of shaky queasy feeling that I'm enjoying right now. Have to travel again tomorrow, back to Chicago (where I was last week), and then next week will be out on the left coast (San Francisco and San Diego).

There is a profound sense of timelessness, a feeling that one is temporally skimming across the surface of things, when this tired. I feel like I'm right back in graduate school, but the differences are important. Then, I was able to sleep the good sleep, not this cursory "my eyes are closed so this must be sleep" kind of operational definition I've been working with lately. To the casual observer, the boy seems to be resting comfortably! Resting comfortably...the way that the car accident victim is said to be resting comfortably. As good as can be expected, given that we found his spleen in the glove compartment.


You sunk my battleship!

Speaking of accidents, had a little one last week, on Sept 11 of all days. Minor, no injuries, even though it was me ('95 Camry) heading broadside into a dump truck. Yes, a dump truck. Claims he didn't see me coming, just pulled out right in front of me, heard the squeal of rubber and then stopped. Dead. In front of me. Hit his wheel and banged up my front end noticeably, but not enough to warrant paying someone to fix it. Still paying the Toyota Financial Services people a monthly stipend for the privilege of driving it, which means that I carry collision, which means that my rates are going to head skyward. Hooray.

The worst thing was not the day on which it occurred, although that day had been a disastrous mix of reflection and distraction, as I am sure it was for many people. In fact, that minor problem helped give me something more tangible and real to think about. And even though the agreeable but hideously young State Trooper kept calling me "sir" (that bastard) I even dealt with that. I guess I didn't like being reminded, yet again, that most of what I plan has nothing to do with what actually happens. You'd think as a developmentalist I'd embrace the concept of necessary change more readily. Feh.


We have fun, don't we?

As the drums of war continue to sound off in the distance, growing closer by the day, I found this little quote on The Other Side that seems eerily prescient. Probably because it is describing basic human nature. Though to compare our smirking, sneering puppethead 'leader' to Caesar is a bit more generous than the situation requires.

Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind. And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded by patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader and gladly so. How do I know? For this is what I have done. And I am Caesar. -- Julius Caesar

What lesser-known Simpsons character are you?

This quiz is a bit more transparent than some of them, but fun anyway. I skewed my answers to get Ralph Wiggum because he is my guy. I object to their characterization of him as a lesser-known character, however...




What lesser-known Simpsons character are you?


Patron saint of lost web pages.


It was only a matter of time before this happened. Can't remember where I found the link.



Hoofa. So now I'm heading into a three hour teleconference. Barfing over the phone would be bad form. It's in the employee manual. So I'll try to keep it together. Wish me luck.



posted by MT at 1:01 PM |

Happy Birthday, Sis!


posted by MT at 9:16 AM |

Wishes from across the pond
link via Instapundit

I am reminded of an aphorism that I cannot recall verbatim, but the sentiment is: speak well of someone when they are not present, because it will mean that much more when they hear of it.

The following link to a collection of photos from British storefronts reminded me of this, for some reason.

This brought tears to my eyes.

Be kind to each other today.


posted by MT at 12:46 PM |

And speaking of....

Looks like Satire Wire is closing its doors as well. Bloody hell. At this rate I might as well just start working while I'm at work.


posted by MT at 5:09 PM |

Now what am I supposed to do on Friday nights?

It's important that we all keep our perspective on the eve of such a somber anniversary. In that spirit, Tom Tomorrow at This Modern World brings those of us who proudly fly our geek flags the sad news that Farscape will not be renewed after this season is through. Cheap bastards. Astonishing to me that a quality, inventive, high-production-value show like this goes by the wayside, while the Star Trek franchise, which was infinitely more slick and cheesy and vanilla and safe....oh, never mind. I guess it isn't that astonishing.

Follow the link to TT's site, which offers several further links (for some reason I think that "subcategorization" [like from X-bar syntax] applies to this relationship). Information, up to the minute whining from insulted fans, and even an online petition. Fill out the online petition, if for no other reason than to review the other online petitons that are currently hosted by this site (such as):

Enforce the Supreme Court of India Ruling to Cleanse Indian Politics

Bring Opportunities to Deafblind Children and Young People

Protest Freud Museum's Anti-Israel Website

Save The Rainforests - Save The Earth

and then, just so we don't ever take ourselves too seriously:

Bon Jovi at Superbowl 2003! (ROCK ON!)

And of course, you know, stuff about TV shows, 'cause that's important too...


posted by MT at 4:42 PM |

At least you have your health...

Nothing is gelling this morning. Encountered lots of eccentricity this weekend, so I think I'll start there and maybe a full-fledged god will leap from my head later.

Saw the best vanity license plate ever: BONVVNT. On an SUV, which seems obvious but inappropriate all the same.

On my way to pick up V on Saturday, drove past the apartment dumpster, and therein was a clutch of mylar balloons, still inflated, humming merrily in the breeze. That seemed powerfully strange to me. And then I got closer, to read, and they were "get well" balloons. "Feel better!" "Get well soon!" And so on. And my twisted take on it, immediately, was that the intended recipient took a turn for the worse. Why else discard them in such a fashion? Why not let them float up like little mylar prayers? Why such a dis in the dumpster? I don't know.

And then, further down the road that same day, I watched an elderly woman emerge from the laundromat. She leaned heavily on a cane, hunched over, and while she shuffled down the sidewalk, I saw her pipe. It was a corncob pipe fashioned after Sherlock Holmes' prop. Not straight and jutting from her jaw a la "Li'l Abner" but curling down in a more..what, elegant? fashion. Odd odder oddest.


posted by MT at 11:57 AM |

Separated at birth?
Link via AWG






posted by MT at 1:17 PM |

Bombs away!


Dateline: Fort Washington PA.
Greetings. I'm writing this under cover of camouflage. Just returned from exile in the parking lot after a bomb scare was phoned in to the office here. Second time in two years this happened. Means we all get to take a trip to the parking lot for a couple of hours while the local constabulary brings out the bomb-sniffing dog (adorable German shepherd with resigned demeanor, although I did notice a rather remarkable facial tic...understandable).

I have told no one, but I'm inclined to think the (much maligned by yours truly) Mormons may be behind it. Kind of the way CJ Craig thought that the death threats she received last season were due to her comments about the Saudis. In learning theory they call that a temporal proximity inference. Works for me. I'll update you as things unfold.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.



posted by MT at 12:19 PM |

Fill in the blank...


This makes me vaguely queasy. Quick crossword "The worlds largest stockpile of ______ is in Utah." I know, the first answer that came to your mind was "Mormons" (I mean no disrespect, but I think it's safe to assume that after the Olympics [and probably before] most of us will find "Mormons" and "Utah" rubbing elbows fairly chummily in cognitive space.)

And referring to them as a stockpile gives them a vaguely nefarious and dangerous air, of which they are collectively probably not worthy either (think Osmonds with Snidely Whiplash moustachios....I can't do it either).


No, it's the largest stockpile of chemical and gas munitions. In Utah. The "Desert Chemical Depot." And oh yes, the alarm went off earlier today. Someone snooping around. Let's hope it was a lost kitty. Or someone who thought it was "Home Depot" and was looking for an attractive kitchen solution and some swatches.

My attempts at humor are meant to veil the nausea. I was surfing around recently, and found a conservative web site full of links to the popular conservative pundits. One of the articles (I wish I could retrace my steps to link it here) went on at great length congratulating the Bush Administration from saving us from "the shoe that never dropped," i.e., the second terrorist attack since 9/11. (I bet I could find the article if I googled that phrase; I'll try later). The increased pressure on the enemy, our technological wizardry, Ashcroft et al., have all kept us safe and free from terrorist disasters.

I suspect the real answer is just dumb luck. We have stockpiles in Utah! People just wandering around at the Depot wondering where the flashing blue light is! Schmendriks like yours truly traipsing merrily aboard commercial jetcraft with knives and laser pointers (oh, and guns), umolested. We should feel thankful and lucky but not safely confident. I sure don't.



posted by MT at 4:23 PM |

No thanks, just browsing


Just a quickie, and it may be a placebo effect, but the Opera browser bills itself as "the fastest internet experience you can have" or something similar, and it sure seems to be true. If you are at work (and most of us are, nestled safely behind the heat-monikered but strangely cold firewall) with a quick connection speed, it's an 11MB download (but can be as small as 3MB, not sure at all what the difference is). Check out CNET's review (actually, I usually find the user reviews much more helpful) to help you decide. My favorite feature is multiple windows within a single open browser; for those of us chained to Windoze, it keeps the taskbar from getting too cluttered. So all my blogs get a separate window and I can just click over and hit refresh to see if anything new has happened. mmmmmm....technology.

And anything that reduces, even incrementally, my dependence on things Microsoft can't be a bad idea.



posted by MT at 3:31 PM |

I want to thank the Academy for making life so unreal.
link via angry white girl

This is priceless. Talk about believing your own hype. How is a birthday present like a major award?


It isn't!


Poor poor pathetic King of Pop (as in, that popping sound you hear is the transparent soap-bubble thin membrane that has been keeping your fragile, enormous ego shielded from the real world finally giving way, and oh shit, look how high off the ground you are! That's going to leave a stain.) Thought he was getting Artist of the Millennium (well, it is only a couple of years old) when it was just a little birthday token.

Later, Wacko Jacko was heard to mutter: "Do you mean that it isn't really my Wawa either?? I bet when I'm at The Olive Garden I'm not going to be treated like family. That was very devillish of you to lie to me that way."

posted by MT at 12:36 PM |

Just when you thought it was safe.


Or maybe you really never did. I was not at all surprised that a security screener in Atlanta failed last week to detect a loaded gun in someone's bags at the airport. I recently traveled to Atlanta, (round about the same time, actually) with my Swiss Army knife in my bag. Simply forgot it was in there (a carryover from the weekend). Nobody even sneezed at me. Now, I've always maintained that were I to terrorize someone on a plane, I can do far more damage with any of the sharp implements in my bag (not limited to the four or five pens I travel with, my laser pointer [I could blind you temporarily] or even the stylus from my Palm.) than with a nail file or sewing kit. Hell, in first class (on meal flights) we're given glassware, metal forks and spoons and a plastic knife. How absurd. But I didn't think I would have the same luck (if you can call it that) coming back with the contraband in my bag, so rather than forfeit the knife, I had it FedEx'd to my office from Atlanta.

What's strange about the Atlanta airport is that their screening area one of the largest I've seen, since all travelers move through a central location and then hop a train to the individual gates. And in that very large and congested area sits a well-lit and prominent display case (Tragedy Under Glass, I believe is the working title) that features all of the objects that are forbidden on planes. This was in place well before Sept 2001. What's in the case, you ask? The items include: fireworks, aerosol paint cans (flammable, no doubt, but what about a deodorant or hairspray can?), a car battery, and a chainsaw. A. Fucking. Chainsaw. Whoever it is that needs to be reminded that chainsaws might be a problem, and further requires the visual aid (oh that's what y'all mean by a chainsaw.) is not someone with whom I want to be sharing a flight. To anywhere.

Of course, it does explain why security keeps missing little things like loaded guns and Swiss Army knives. Gotta keep an eye out for that Peterbilt battery (full of acid, you know). It's all about pattern recognition...

"Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" is not an inspirational poster I would ever hope to see in the lunch room at airport security...

posted by MT at 10:03 AM |

There's no need to fear, Underdog is here.


That looks absurd in print.

At long last, on the advice of my attorneys, bowing to the pressure, I have posted my Providence photos for all the world to see. Here is what happened. I decided that I needed some retail therapy this weekend. I have been investigating photo flatbed scanners for some time, and finally decided the time was now! And purchased the Epson 2450 Photo, which is a fine and quick little machine, with a color negative scanner that took my breath away.

I feel compelled to give shout-outs to all the software and hardware that helped bring you this little assortment, so a round of applause goes as well to MGI Photosuite III Platinum (okay boys, it's either III or platinum, does it need to be both?) which took my on-drive slide-show and converted it into the myriad web pages you see before you. I had to do substantial text editing, but creating the thumbnails, etc., by hand would have driven me to insanity.

I perhaps have gone overboard on the Waterfire photos, but I tried to winnow the field as best as I could. I took about seven rolls of film that weekend, so you're only seeing snippets.

This has been very much a labor of love, but feel free to offer up critique and comment. It's the only way I'll learn. The slide show I created for myself includes the third movement from Handel's Water Music as an overlay (I couldn't figure a way to add that to these slides without blowing my bandwidth) so if you have a copy, pop it in and enjoy.


posted by MT at 6:31 PM |