There's no way to tell from this little space, but the last two months or so have been more or less wedding themed. I didn't wallpaper the car with wedding invitations or anything, but that extreme approach aside, it's been more or less about this one day. Which of course isn't about one day but about a long wonderful series of days to follow. But proximally, it's about the day. And everything that has come since, which has been mostly dealing with the aftershocks of returning from ten days in Italy (those aftershocks being the fatigue and malaise which was at first attributed to the jet lag and is now attributable to being back at work and not loving it.) Plus, I was anticipating a return to EU this month, but that was pushed back until November, and so my time has been spent trying to look busy and keeping track of that One Big International Project. So you're wondering why I haven't been here more. Me too.
But here we have the good folks at THE KNOT DOT COM, which is probably the slickest wedding site I've come across (and in the months leading up to it, I came across quite a few). If you sign on there, they send you constant wedding-themed reminders and whatnot, including (sometimes even helpful) lists of things to remember or to do, many of which only apply to your more traditional weddings (you know, the kind that don't involve having your ten year old daughter sing Hillary Duff songs in the gazebo.) But they are not content to let us go. We are now at our one-month anniversary (yay!) and we have just been informed that we can expect more KNOT NEWSLETTERS to follow to commemorate other anniversaries. Apparently there is a gift I was supposed to get. We just bought a new king-size bed, does that count?? THE KNOT DOT COM? Martha Stewart? Anyone...?
So, I thought I'd share the latest list. Here is what I should be doing RIGHT NOW (or at least before the next anniversary email comes through).
Frame your wedding invitation. We even sent one to ourselves fof just such a purpose. Okay, I'm with you so far.
Create a memory box: include favorite items such as the ring pillow, dried bouquet petals, cake topper, and favor. The last thing we need is another box. The ring pillow is back on the couch (it was one of LK's small purple throws, and I like it there). The bouquet is currently drying in an inverted fashion (like it was mounted up there as a warning to the other bouquets -- THIS IS WHAT AWAITS YOU! STAY IN THE GROUND!). I don't think we had a cake topper (although it would be hard to top that cake [/rimshot] THANK YOU! You've been great!). Our favors were bells and small clear bottles of bubbles wrapped in lace. We still have most of them (we never actually told anyone what to do with them, so nobody rang bells or blew bubbles when we trotted back down the aisle...that was one memo we forgot to send, I guess.)
Preserve your gown or have it made into a quilt for your newlywed (or baby's) bed. Um. Not being a woman, I can only say that if someone suggested my gown were large enough to qualify as a quilt for a king-size bed...well, help me out here ladies, but them's fightin' words, am I right?
Create a time capsule of what was happening in the world on your big day -- a copy of the newspaper, weather report, a recording of your favorite song, and so on. Seal up the capsule and open it on your 25th (or 50th) anniversary. NOW you tell me. We do recycle, you know. As far as the weather goes, we were monitoring it on an hourly basis since everything was outdoors and it was such a volatile weather day. A Winnie-the-pooh episode comes to mind. We do have favorite song recordings, since we chose most of the music ourselves.
Buy a special box for honeymoon souvenirs: shells, leis, postcards, a handful of sand. Let me guess, you have just such a box for sale on THE KNOT DOT COM, am I right? And they didn't give us any leis in Positano...
Frame a favorite photo of your wedding day to display in a special place. See below. Actually, it's one of the only ones we have so far, since the professional shots haven't come back yet.
Carry your bridal handkerchief in your handbag. I do not intend to start carrying a handbag.
Save a copy of your vows so you can exchange them again at your vow renewal ceremony. What, after a month you don't think I remember what I promised to do? Notice how they just ASSUME we'll have a renewal ceremony. Like our vows aren't an expression of our daily commitment to each other. How dare they!
Display your marriage contract on the wall in the bedroom or living room. Anyone noticing a theme here? Why not just come right out and say it? IN CASE YOU HAVE ALREADY FORGOTTEN, YOU ARE COMMITTED TO THIS PERSON FOR ETERNITY. WITH SOCIAL AND LEGAL CONSEQUENCES, AS CONTAINED HEREIN. Sheesh. It's interesting how multiple-personality this email is. This bullet is clearly aimed (ha!) at the GROOM. Unless they anticipate framing the vows and the wedding contract on the wall as a reference during spats. Maybe with a handy checklist. "Dear, I noticed that you failed to honor and cherish me today. No soup for you!"
While the memories are still fresh, record them in a memory book or journal. Or blog. Rats. I do intend to post some of LK's travel notes, because she is a dazzling writer and was painstaking about capturing the early part of the trip.
Okay, so some of my old cynicism is back (I know, it never really went anywhere). I have become sensitized to the marriage theme of just about everything I come across these days (cartoons, TV, film, etc). And the story seems to be HE did it because he was forced into it, and now is miserable, and SHE did it because it's what she wanted to do for her whole life, and now she needs to keep HIM in line. Of course this thematic approach is news to no one, but it bugs me (hence the above) because it so completely misses the point, at least for us. Not that (perhaps) all newlyweds don't feel this way, but we got married because BOTH of us could see absolutely no other way to be, and we gathered our families and friends around us because we wanted them to all witness how much we loved each other. The tax breaks and discounts on auto insurance are just gravy...er, frosting on the cake. So continuing to formalize things misses the point, it seems, since it's the day to day living that we both are looking so forward to. And that makes it special. Not renewal ceremonies, but cooking dinner for each other with our new cookware. That's where the commitment is most obvious and fun.
That said, it will be nice to keep getting the little reminder emails from THE KNOT DOT COM on key anniversary dates, just to keep me on my toes. Our TWO-MONTH annniversary is nearly upon us. I think that's the "liquor and red meat " anniversary. It's so hard to keep track...
Well, at long last we have returned. Look to the photo below to see why I have been out of commission for the last couple of weeks. I noticed that I look a bit insane there, but it's just bliss plus relief plus more bliss.
It is really like this, every day. The photo is courtesy of Art (see Dr. Wendy, our officiant in the background there).
Here are a couple more of the grounds before the festivities started.
It's been almost a month! Hard to believe. It's hard to know where to start. The blow by blow would be counterproductive, plus the honest truth is I can only remember bits and pieces of the ceremony and reception. We were warned by everyone that a) we would not get anything to eat (that turned out to be mostly true) and b) things would go by so quickly we would barely notice the day. That last bit isn't exactly right, but it still remains pretty much a blur. I will post some highlights this weekend. I am nearly finished with the photo set from Italy, and those will be going up this weekend too. I'm feeling inspired. So much to tell you about.
My love is right behind me be checking email, and I am blogging right here in front of her in an internet cafe in in Fierenza (Florence) Italy. We have been here now for a week (not Florence, but Italy) buzzing about in our Alfa Romeo (six speed manual! I drive like a native Italian, which is to say, insanely fast). We started in Rome, went to the Amalfi Coast (Positano and Capri) and then to Umbria where we stayed in a farm house on a hill. Now, two days in Florence, then to Siena and back to Rome. Words cannot describe. I will try, however, with many photos and words when I return.
In the meantime, thanks for all the wishes and warmth and all the love in the room! The wedding ceremony and reception was astonishingly fun and precious and exactly what we hoped for. I know, this is not information, this is a synopsis. I have seven minutes on my INTERNET TRAIN! card, which means that I don't have time to tell the tale. Glorious synopses will have to suffice for now.
BTW, being married is like great. One week into it, and I think I have it all figured out....
ClothMother_old
